I should be running right now but I’m “waiting for my food to digest”

No, but really.

Hello blog I abandoned. You must have so many feelings, blog. “Why are you doing this to me again? Toying with my emotions. First, we saw each other every day and had so many laughs together. Then things got a little stale. We were only spending a few days a week hanging out when it happened — the inevitable break. But you came back! You decided to give me another chance. Only to DASH my hopes to under 20 hits a day with the notorious FADE OUT …  Why can’t you just LET ME GO?”

Whoa, OK, blog. You need to take a deep breath and chill the eff out. I’ve always been upfront with you about what this is – what we are.  First, there is no “we”. There are no labels. You’re blog, I’m Kori. We’re casual acquaintances with our own lives that sometimes get busy. We enjoy each other when we hang out, but it can’t get serious. Ya know, it’s just for fun.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is I’m a douche with a lot of excuses. And I promise to write more. But not pinky promise, obviously. I can’t handle that kind of commitment.

(Food is still kinda digesting, just FYI.)

Purple Green

For those unaware of Campus PD, it’s the same format as Cops but the uniformed are specifically dealing with college students. It’s glorious. If you want to watch it, and I recommend you do, it plays (a lot) on the G4 channel (along with other titillating programs such as Movies That Don’t Suck and It’s Effin’ Science).

There are so many great scenarios I’ve watched on Campus PD, but here’s a good sneak peak into what you can expect on an average episode:

 

I was done at “Purple green?” HAHA.

Sock Lines

First post of 2012! 20+ days late …

Anyway, we’ll file this one right up there with the hanger horns (or nipples, as I’ve heard is their official name).

SOCK LINES at the gym:

This doozy was taken Thursday and was specifically the mold of my Christmas gingerbread cookie socks. You might remember one of them from that time it got lost in the dryer – the event that led to the creation of this blog.

I was thinking these offensive marks are on my ankles all the more reason to wake up in the morning to work out instead of putting it off until the evening like I always do. No sock lines! (Unless you sleep in socks – and if that’s the case we have nothing in common.)

Blog Search Referrals

You know what is fun? Looking at my blog’s top search referral keywords for the week. The scary part is that some of them were searched on more than once! Furthermore, most of them I can make sense of (e.g. snitzel potato is probably because I wrote a post on Old Europe, a German restaurant in DC) – but others, well, see for yourself. Here are some highlights (my comments in parentheses):

– beer christmas

– snitzel potato

– terra nova sexy

– her in her christmas jumper too big (wtf?)

– sexy men medieval pants

– i like snacks (me too!)

– beer costumes for men in restaurants (sounds amazing!)

– hanson sleeping (creepy?)

– obese couple christmas sweaters

– weeping ladies san francisco (I’m so confused)

– girl eating santa (that’s disturbing)

– shy pooper (yes!!!)

That gave me quite the Friday laugh. Hope everyone has a happy new year!!!

Hanger Shoulders

Is there anything more annoying in the morning than discovering some super gnarly HANGER HORNS?!

HISSSSSSSS!

Oh My Crap, this made me laugh

Let me say first that I actually really like Ron Paul. But this video – and a couple others from Bad Lip Reading – had me laughing my hiney off.

Does your face hurt? Mine did.

My Favorite Christmas Sweater

I KNOW I HAVEN’T POSTED IN AWHILE.

AND I SWEAR THIS WON’T TURN INTO A HANSON BLOG.

BUT LOOK:

Admit it, people. HANSON IS AWESOME. They wore TOMS before it was a fad. They should run for President. All three. At the same time.

Hanson Brewing Beer?!

OK, like I really need more reasons to love this band.

In the past 20 hours or so, I’ve been sent MULTIPLE versions of an article announcing that Hanson will be brewing their own beer. Based on the number of people who have shared a link with me, it’s clear I am not quiet about my favorite band. Let me see if I can list the order:

  • Co-worker Drew was the winner, sending me this link around 12:30 yesterday.
  • Next was my friend Kerry.
  • Boyfriend Matt was after her.
  • Then my friend Cail tweeted me.
  • Another coworker, Greg, IMed me this article this morning.
  • Followed by Katie and Dani respectively.

There is only one duplicate article in that list. I guess people really care that Hanson is planning to make some beer.

But let’s just acknowledge the elephant in the room … did they REALLY need to name it MMMHop?! Who, besides their rabid fan following, is going to drink a beer based off of a pop song released by 1997’s version of the Jonas Brothers? I’m pretty sure ZERO dudes, which in my mind is the demo you are trying to reach when you’re selling beer. DUDES. Fratty dudes. Football-watching dudes. Forehead can-crushing dudes.

Anywhoo, stay tuned – whenever this beer is launched, I’m getting drunk and taking a video.

Let’s get Schmidtty

Since there is a new episode tonight, I think now is a good time to talk about my new favorite show – New Girl – and why I like it.

  • I like the format. No live audience, quirky and for the most part, pretty smart.
  • I really relate to the main character Jess’s sense of humor. She’s weird and sings a lot. I can totally see myself saying, “Whatcha guys gobblin’ about? Turkeys?” Apparently I’m not the only one as 2 of my friends have already mentioned she reminds them of me. And I take that as a compliment – most of the time.
  • SCHMIDT. This is quickly becoming the main reason I love this show. At first, you are like, who they heck is this guy and why is he so douchey? And then, just like it happened with CeeCee, Schmidt grows on you. I can’t really explain it — you suddenly just GET Schmidt. Let’s take a look at some of his shining moments.

Parkour Schmidt:

 

Schmidt Happens:

 

And here’s kinda an overview of all things Schmidt:

 

There are so many other Schmidt moments that I could reference but are not [yet] on YouTube. I might need to lead this revolution …

Love Me Some Berner Kisses

Watch this video:

And you will be jealous of this picture of me and my sister growing up (well, if you like the idea of a dog slobbering all over your face, which I do):

That is Burkie – who was followed by two more Bernese Mountain Dog “siblings” – Ziggy and Chewy. Yes, they were my brothers and amazing family members. They are a beautiful breed with a wonderful temperament and they shaped me into the dog lover I am today!